Wednesday, January 2, 2008

HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray

So here at the Ranch, we've been getting loads of questions about which format we're going to support for Star Wars and Indy, and when we're going to be releasing the super-ultra-special-wicked-enhanced-Jar-Jar-centric editions of these monumental films.  And my answer is this.
This entire format war is just silliness if you ask me.  And I won't be a part of it.  That's why the boys down at ILM are working on the new HD-R2.  He projects full 3D images directly onto your cornea, and if you attempt to blink, or take your eyes off my masterpieces in any way, he zaps you with his little static discharge thingy (static discharge thingy is a registered trademark of Lucasfilm.)
The best thing is, if you want to watch a different movie, we're developing our own storage format.  We've bypassed the traditional optical storage mediums (plastic discs for the unwashed masses) and even digital downloads, and moved on to the next quantum leap forward in storage technology.  Fruitcake.  That's right, a couple of our researchers have determined that the highest density substance on earth, and the one that can contain the greatest amount of information (stored in quantum nut form of course,) is nothing other than that delicious holiday treat.
We're working on a deal right now with Best Buy and FYE to get a dedicated Fruitcake aisle in store for Christmas 2008.  So go ahead and let your adoration flow, because, and you heard it here first, I, George Lucas, have solved the format war.
Now we just need to keep Jar Jar away from the fruitcake encoding machines, he thinks Temple of Doom is extra delicious.

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