Only the Tip of the Iceberg, People.

One of my lackeys released the information before I was ready to reveal my splendor to the world, but there will be aliens in Indiana Jones 4. I'm letting my assistant, Steven Spielberg use his puppets from Close Encounters of the Third Kind in a cameo. It's the only way he'll let me release a special edition of the movie where Jar Jar accompanies Indy on is adventures. They'll escape giant bugs and hunt down Nazi aliens. All of these scenes have been shot. Basically all we need to do is digitally insert Jar Jar into every scene along with some subliminal imagery of me wearing a crown.

Hollywood Writer's Strike

I'm confused by this talk of writers on strike. I thought that I had made Hollywood writers obsolete when I made the Star Wars prequels. My digital characters were so compelling that they didn't need good dialog. Anything that they said would be instantly captivating. That's why no one wrote anything for the prequels. That's why they are the best movies that there ever could be.

NEXT

I saw this movie last night. Nobody told me that they made a movie about me! I've always been able to see two minutes into the future. That's how I knew that Jar Jar would be the cultural phenomenon that he is. Luckily they cast Nick Cage as me. He has a lot of flannel and beard potential. I also knew that if I ate bacon this morning, I would be happy. My mind is the best thing that there ever could be. Even better than bacon. Or ham.

Um... I don't look like this guy.

I don't!  I'm handsome!  He's a four-armed short-order chef!  We're not even distantly related, except that, in a way, he's my son.  And I love him.

I am a handsome fellow.

Many people ask me, 'George, how do you maintain your youthful good-looks when you're so busy running a media empire, and disappointing fans?'

This is what I tell them:

The Force keeps me youthful.  And I've never heard a single complaint about disappointed fans.  I wonder if Rick has been keeping information from me again.  Crap, I'll have to feed another one of his fingers to the womprats at Skywalker Ranch.

I'm Confused

I don't remember ever being in Japan.

Across the Universe

I saw this movie last weekend. I'd just like to say that I am bitterly disappointed. If I go to see a movie that has the word "Universe" in the title, I'd better see at least one space ship in there. This movie had no space ships. Or aliens. I think that I pretty much established that "Across the Universe" means the same thing as; "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away." They stole my idea and then didn't have the decency to exploit me in the right way by putting space ships in the film.